Monday, December 14, 2009

Still Hoping and Keeping the faith!

Well it is gloomy here in CA! We are running out of options. We really only have one left. I am struggling with myself right now. Did I do something wrong or could I have done anything different. I do not think God brought me on this journey for my heart to hurt like this. I am faithful and in prayer for God's will. I just don't feel like God would bring me here and let me hold him, bond with him, and love on him to snatch it out from under me. I can not express my hurt and my mom is sad because she can't fix it or take the pain away. I feel like I have lost a child. But I continue to pray for peace and clarity. Please continue o pray for my family we are all trying to find peace. And I have realized things over the past couple of days that I would have never though about. Like a more closed adoption. I wanted them to be able to know as much as they wanted. My thick skin has set in and I am trying to be strong for mom and for my sanity.

Please pray that if this is MY Aiden it will work out and if not PLEASE pray for PEACE. This really sucks right now!

Love you all
Erica

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Little Bit of Faith

Well Friday we flew out here to CA to meet Aiden. He was precious. He scrunched up his little face and I patted him on bottom and he calmed right down. He was so tiny. But so much love in one little body.

The next day I got to go see him and the nurse said I get to hold him!!!!!!!! It was so funny once I help him his O2 sats, body temp, and respirations all were steady. We went back that night and held him some more. He was on room air. The nurses said our earlier visit must have been good because he held steady all day! Go Baby Boy!

Today he was doing great! He had no tubes and no stickers on his face. Precious. He opened his eyes and keep them open for about 45 minutes. He would smile and touch my face. Oh how I love that little boy. Then this afternoon we hit a snag. They called and said that the birthfamily decided to keep him. I was crushed. I cried and cried but I know God has bigger plans. I talked to the Lawyer and I feel a little better. It does suck but I am not giving up. I fought to get my profile seen for him and I am fighting for this baby again! Keep praying for this I feel like tomorrow is a better day.

Love you!
Erica

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

It is close!

Sorry I have been so bad at keeping up with my blog! It has been busy busy. I was blessed the day of my last blog to find out the "real" story behind God's involvement in Aidens birth. I know that God is in everything but I got Nada's side of what happened.

She was going to abort because she felt she could not have the baby but funding was not available. She later saved the money and she was too far along. (Whew) Then she found out that he had markers for Down Syndrome which was followed with an Amnio for a 99.99% diagnosis. So you see she knew before she found out that he had Downs that she couldn't keep him.
Fast forward to Aug. when I first saw him on CHASK. I asked that my profile be sent but it was not ready. So I said if he was meant to be mie it would work out. I kept looking and on her side she had picked a family. The mother (potential adoptive) had a sister with Downs, unfortunately she passed away during their matching process and once teh birth family picked them 100% the family had already been matched with another child and they would be together any day now. Birth mom asked if they wanted another and they said give him to someone else who is on this journey. (Do you have chills yet?) Now it is late September/earlyOctober. He was back up on CHASK same area and everything. But they wanted married couples only. I still thought why not so I requested that my profile be sent and CHASK said sorry they want married only. Which I knew was going to be a bump in my journey. A week and a half later he was still on the site I felt such a tug to try again. All they could say was no again...so I emailed Sherry at CHASK again and asked her to please send my profile. I didn't want to bother her but I told her if I am supposed to be his mommy and I don't try what will happen to him? About an hour later Sherry emailed me back and said she would sent it over. This was the Thursday before Buddy Walk. I was expecting 2 weeks or so but the next Monday is when they picked me! It took another week for birth dad to be onboard but he is mine! The funny thing is the week after we were matched my completed homestudy came in the mail! God is so amazing! If you rely on him he will pave the path. I had my first homestudy visit July 24th and he will be born on December 17th (if he behaves this is 2 weeks early). So in the time it takes most people to get a home study I got my baby boy! Oh and financially I was concerned. I applied for a loan and that didn't work out but I had paid off a Credit Card and not closed it out for some reason. Well it had a limit to cover what I had asked the bank for. I have also applied for a grant. Please continue to pray for that area!

I know this was long but I thought this part of the journey was so neat because you can see where this is God 's thing! I am just along for the ride!

Mom and I have 23 days before we meet Aiden Benjamin!

Please continue to pray for his birthfamily, my family, and the financials!

I can't wait for you all to meet him!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

6 Weeks

Wow Who would have thought it. God has truly steered this adoption and in 6 weeks I will be holding my son! HOLY COW! God is amazing. Not that I ever doubted!

Please continue to pray for his birth family. His birth dad is having a hard time signing his rights away. And pray that God will continue to work out the financial side of this also. Both lawyers are needing to be paid and I am waiting to hear from the bank. But God is good and this will all work out.

Have a great day!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Praise God

Tuesday was a good day Birthmom contacted me! Yeah!!!!!!! I am so excited! After chatting some it is looking good for me. She wanted to be sure that this is what they wanted to do.
Wednesday we chatted back and forth in 12+ emails and sharing all kinds of info. Then the magic phrase. She says, 'Nic is calling the agency to tell them we are good on our end" YES!!!!!!! He is going to be mine. I bought Christmas Ornaments the night before to give to my family to tell them he was our (I had a hunch). Then BM tells me she has ultrasound pictures on myspace. So she friended me and I got picture of him at 7 1/2 weeks. So I printed these and cut them to fit behind the ornaments. Mom opened hers and said this is so cute and I told her to lift it up and when she did I told her that was her grandson at 7 1/2 weeks. To see her face was priceless. But Thursday BM starts asking about the Lawyers and what we need to do to get everything in line. BM & BF are both on board and we are on our way. Right now Aiden is due to be delivered 12/22/09. We are hoping that the DR will move it up a week so we don't run into the holidays when little to noone will be working. If they move i up he will be delivered at 38weeks.

Please pray that if it is God's will for us to be home at Christmas that it will all work out. So we can be home with family to celebrate God's amazing love and Jesus' birth!

I am so excited and in awe of God's amazing works!

Good Night All

Friday, October 16, 2009

Prayers....

So I was contacted Monday of this week by CHASK regarding the possiblility of adopting a little boy wiith DS due in Dec. So I waited 3-4 days like they said and no call. I emailed CHASK back to see if they had heard anything and this is the reply I got. "They are having trouble deciding what they want to do. Mom loves you and would like for you to be mom. Birth dad wants a 2 parent family with no children." Wow. I knew starting this process that being single would have its hurdles but please pray that if this is the little one God has for me that it will work out. I know God is in control of this whole thing and has been from the start. I emailed the birth mom last night and told her if she had any questions to feel free to ask and that I would send her pictures of my house, the nursery, and additional family photos. It is still sad that mom wants ME to adopt her little one and birth dad is saying I want something else.

I also can't imagine what they are going through. And if I were in their shoes I would probably have an image of the "perfect family". Please life their family up in your prayers that they will follow God's will.

Pray for my family too, Dad and Dave got so excited about possibly having a new member of the family by Christmas. Dave already designed Aiden some Thank You cards. (They are cute if I do say so.) Don't get me wrong we are all so excited but for these too to be full force on board with no reservations if a Gift from God also! Thanks for letting me get this down and following our journey!

In God's time Aiden will come home!

Erica

Monday, October 12, 2009

Oh My How Great is our GOD!!

I want to lift up his name and sing his praises! God is awesome! In August I got information about a little boy in CA due in December. They wanted a 1 day drive from Disneyland. Well I tried to get my information in and had to submit my profile. He was off the website in 3 days.

Well about 2 weeks ago he was back up. But I didn't meet birth mom's criteria. I continued to pray for this little one, his birth family and his forever family. I asked for my profile to be sent and was told that the mother only wanted profiles that fit what she was looking for. And I can understand.

We last Thursday I got an email from my social worker with a rough draft of my Home Study. I was approved! And I looked on CHASK and there he was again. So I emailed them again and said I didn't want to be a bother but I also didn't want to turn my back if I was supposed to be his mommy. Well only a few hours later i get an email that she sent my bio to the birth mom! Wow...

Well today I get a call and it is CHASK stating that the birth mom would like to contact me. ME!!!! Of course I said yes so I have the birth mothers name, email, and phone number. So If she does pick me my little one will be here by the end of the year. Wow and again Wednesday is the three month mark of this journey.

GOD is Good!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I am APPROVED!!!!!

Well Thursday I got the rough draft of my home study and I am APPROVED! I hope to have the real thing in hand soon! Oh HAPPY DAY!!!!!! HUGE check off the list. Now just waiting for God to join myself and Aiden! WOW!!!!!! Wednesday will be the 3 month mark from the beginning of this journey.

Home Study Check
Nursery Check
Baby Items Check

Thank you to all that have prayed and continue to pray for this journey. Also keep my friend in your prayers as she and her husband search for their children (for adoption) also.

Love,
Erica

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hi

Sorry I have not posted in a few weeks! I kept thinking "Oh I need to do that" and you know life happened and I got busy doing something else. =D Well I hope to get my completed Home Study in the mail soon. My social worker was going to be working on it last week. So that is VERY EXCITING! And I have just passed the 2 month mark. So it is amazing to see God's Plan unfold and all of the love and support I have received. This is ALL GOD!!!!

Mom has been laughing at me because I am nesting. I want to get the room ready wash things, and organize. You know me a huge Type A personality! So everything will be organized at first but after adding a little one is that possible? Haha!

Please continue to pray for his birthfamily and the choices they have ahead of them. Pray for God's continued blessings and that the financials of the actual adoption work out. I am hoping for grants and fund raisers but with the economy who knows. And pray for all the children out there waiting for parents to answer God's calling and bring them home to a Forever Family! Is he calling you? Do you long to add to or start a family? Do you feel like you are missing something? There are children all over the World waiting to come home. Could you be their Forever Family? I know alot of great families that have answered that call so if you would like to talk to someone let me know.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Last Visit...Check!

Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay in an up to date post. I am proud to announce that last Thursday was my last home visit and Dana said in 3-4 weeks she will have my letter ready! I am so excited! And it is so much fun to see how others get more and more excited as this journey continues. Mom & I went to Target on Monday and started Aiden's Adoption Registry. We are going to go to Babies "R" Us in Birmingham soon to do one there. It is so much fun to do this with my mom.

I can not express to all of you how much it means to me to have all the love and support for this adoption. God is still showing me daily why I have been called to do this! But I also must be doing a good job because satan is creeping in. As a Christian that tells me I am on the right track. Yes these times do stink BIG time but God will pull me through this! Knowing so many people are praying helps me and that so many people can not wait to meet Aiden!

Now the hard part waiting! Monday is the 2 month mark of this journey! Can you believe it all this so fast. But I know God has BIG plans for me and my little man!

Have a great day! Please pray for Aiden's Birth Family where ever they may be and the tough decisions before them.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Next Visit

We are heading to PA for vacation next week. I am so ready for a vacation! Mom said this may be our last vacation with out Aiden! And I think she is on to something.

God is still moving us along through this process. I emailed my social worker and asked her if there was anything that she needed from me and when our next visit might be. At the same time she was emailing me on when our next visit could be. I had emailed her after I sent in my Life Story and told her about our vacation. My luck she would want to do our next visit when I was 20 hours away! But God had other plans. She actually wants to meet the week after we get back! YEAH!!!!! So September 3rd at 5pm is our next meeting. This could also be our last meeting! Holy Cow! What a swift beginning to my journey. And then that Friday is our monthly meeting for the Down Syndrome Group! What a weekend that will be.

Please continue to pray for Aiden's Birth Family and that they will trust God's will for their lives!

Monday, August 17, 2009

We have a bed!

Friday I was at my parent's house for my brother's birthday and I missed a phone call. So I called the number back and it was Storkland. Aiden's be was in! After only ordering it 3 weeks before. I keep getting the feeling God is saying get you stuff ready girl. So with the help of my mama we got his bed put together last night. So goodbye guest room hello nursery. I am so excited! I have not put the bedding on yet for 2 reasons, (1) No mattress yet and (2) I don't want it to sit there and get dusty. Because I know me and I will want to wash it again before I put him in it so I am holding off on that part.

It is so funny though...I walk in that room and just smile!

God is so good and I am excited to see where we go from here!

Erica

Friday, August 14, 2009

Should I be doing something???

I feel like there are things that I need to be doing right now but there really is not much left to do. Troy & Helen need their Rabies shots. (They would need those anyway.) And I have according to our last visit only one more visit from my social worker. It is CRAZY! Exactly a month ago I started this journey. As far as starting the process of visits and all.

Who knew that I would get this far this fast. It is amazing how God lays things out when you are following his will for your life. I look back and see how I got to this point. Volunteering with the Down Syndrome Outreach Group to wanting to open a center for expectant mothers/play dates to I am ADOPTING! I am so excited about every step of this journey. My little one will come to me in God's timing so for now I am enjoying the ride!

Erica

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Next Step

I have completed my Life Story and submitted it to my Social Worker yesterday morning. And this afternoon I am going for part two of my physical. i had my bloodwork done last Friday adn I go to have him fill out my papers today. Progress Progress! Now my next step is to have my second home visit and turn in some papers. Then I will just be waiting to have my letter of recommendation done and I will be able to bring Aiden Benjamin into my home once God brings him to me. (I have not been matched with a child yet...But if any one hears of a little boy being born or just born with Down Syndrome please let me know).

Please pray for his birthmother who ever she may be and ask for God's loving arms to be wrapped around her as she faces this life changing event. And that she will follow God's will for her precious baby. It is going to be such an emotional event when God's timing lines up and I get to go pick up my Aiden.

Have a great day!

Friday, August 7, 2009

God's amazing plan.

Well, let me fill you in on my journey so far...My name is Erica. I am single and live in my home with my two precious Maltese Troy & Helen.

God spoke to my heart in April about adopting a little one with Down Syndrome. I always knew I would adopt at least one of my children but NOW? I prayed continuously for over a month. Praying for the "signs" that this was right and having those signs laid out in front of me time and again. Then I got incredibly excited about the idea of being a mommy! I did all kinds of research and made many decisions. You had to think about international, domestic, open, closed, private, and what agency. So much to think about and so much to learn.

My prayers continued and in May I sat my family down and talked to them about adopting my son. I thought hard about the gender and God steered me to a boy. They were very supportive and excited as well. They of course had many questions which I happily answered.

God has blessed this journey in the way things fall into place. They tell you to prepare for a few months for the home study and then to be matched/hear about/find your little one.

July 14th I had my appointment to get my fingerprints done. They were scanned (I highly recommend this). Easy process and then the wait... Well my wait was not so long...I emailed my Social Worker Wednesday July 15th and asked what I could be doing in the mean time. She replied, "I will be in your area Friday can we do your first home visit?" Oh My! I had obligations already and I told her that would not work for me. All the while I felt SICK. I just kept thinking how long will I have to wait if I do not take this opportunity. So I emailed her back and said I could work out Friday. She also wanted to meet my family and see my support system. Bonus since I was babysitting that weekend. I cleaned like a mad woman. My house was spotless when she came. (Mainly due to the nerves).

Our visit went well then on the the "Life Story" assignment. Which was pretty easy. I finished it up Wednesday August 5th and hope to send it in Sunday. Then we will have another home visit. I had my blood work for my physical today August 7th and hope to get the dog's their rabies shots next week.

So let's see in less than a month I an about half way done. I already have his bedding and his bed was ordered on July 20th. And hope to have it 6-8 weeks from then. WOW. When I think about it that way WOW. God is so GOOD!

It is so awesome to see God work his plan if you are willing to obey and follow. So many things have been provided. And I know he will continue to provide.

Thanks for stopping by...I hope to have more updates soon!